Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So apparently I’m into choking now
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
