everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
