Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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