Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
