those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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