why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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