I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
