As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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