i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
