so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
