Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
