Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
