This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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