Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i think i have two assholes
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
