I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
