this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
