Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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