whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
