My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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