What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
