Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I forget how to act sober
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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