You're completely useless in the revolution.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
