Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I had to cum in my sink.
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