waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
