he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
