I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
