I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
