just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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