is your mom at the bar?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
