I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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