Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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