If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
