just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize