I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
