And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
