can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
