I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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