Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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