I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
