Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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