her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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