i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
