lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
