i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
