Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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