I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
