i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My liver just had a heart attack.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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