I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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