they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
