I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
