My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
