The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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