She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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