She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.