I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
