spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
