You smell like a Billy Joel song
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
