So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
