I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
