I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize