Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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