OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
