Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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